Issue #33: More Small Sample Size Fun
We gave the NHL the small sample size treatment, now time to shift to the young NBA season.
Hello, my name is Colin. Welcome to the 33rd issue of The Wood Report, an eclectic smorgasbord of sports “news” and humor.
This Week’s Main Story
We are 18 days into the NBA season, giving us the perfect amount of data to rush to opinions about all 30 teams in the league, including the Seattle Kraken who have played 5 total games in their existence... wait a minute. Whoops, forgot to scratch that when I copy pasted this intro. Oh well, onward! There’s nothing better in sports than using small sample sizes to win arguments. Everything I am going to present is based on facts, which means it cannot be disputed.
NBA Small Sample Storylines
Philadelphia 76ers - The Embiid-centric Sixers might be the best possible version of this team.
The Sixers are the only team in the league with 8 wins so far. They are on a 6 game win streak and figuring out a way to completely dominate opponents.
They have the best Offensive Rating in the game (116.5) while playing at the slowest pace in the league, befitting of a grinding, defense heavy roster.
Seth Curry is trying to outshine his own brother, shooting 50% from 3 on over 5 attempts per game. Having an elite shooter on the outside gives so much juice to this team.
Embiid is bullying all comers in the paint. Don’t even try to get in his way.
Chris Paul - Still the Point God.
At age 36, CP3 is leading the league in assists with 97 in 8 games. His 12.1 assists per game make him the only player above 10. His vision and passing in unmatched.
Already this season he has passed Steve Nash to move into 3rd all-time on the assist leaderboard, behind just Jason Kidd and John Stockton.
If this holds, it will be the 4th time in Paul’s career he leads the league in assists. He has been in the top 5 ten different seasons.
Oklahoma City Thunder - They are good at exactly one thing.
The Thunder currently sit at 2-6 in the midst of another rebuilding season while they await the chance to use the treasure trove of draft picks they have hoarded for future drafts. Their margin of loss in those 6 defeats is 16.7 points, including a 33 point loss to the 1-8 Houston Rockets.
The only games the Thunder have won both came against the LA Lakers, a team widely believed to be a frontrunner for the title. The young tandem of Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Lu Dort somehow power up when they see that Laker uniform across the court, like an inverse kryptonite.
The Lakers better hope OKC doesn’t find a way into the playoffs.
That treasure trove of picks is 36 total draft picks over the next five years: 19 first-round picks and 17 second-round picks.
Charlotte Hornets - The most exciting team in the league.
The 5-5 Hornets are currently leading the league in points per game at 114.2.
The 5-5 Hornets are currently leading the league in points allowed per game at 117.4.
The Hornets are playing at the 5th fastest pace this season, so every game is a breakneck back and forth rollercoaster. Only 3 times has a team failed to score 100 points in a game involving the Hornets. Seven times, a team has topped 120 points.
Lamelo is doing crazy stuff every game.
Golden State Warriors - They are back to wrecking the league.
The Warriors are 7-1, their only loss an OT thriller to the Memphis Grizzlies and Ja Morant going off.
They have a top 5 offense as expected with Steph Curry at the helm. The offense is scoring 113.1 points per game, Jordan Poole is setting a career high in points, and Curry is nailing ridiculous 3s (as is tradition).
The really reason to be scared though is the defense this team is playing. They are the best defensive team in the league by a healthy margin. The 96.4 Defensive Rating is over 4 points lower than the next best team. Draymond Green is the foundation of this defense, but everyone has bought in like the much derided Andrew Wiggins.
Oh and later this season, the Warriors may see the return of superstar Klay Thompson who… *checks notes* bought a boat and has taken on certain seafaring superstitions such as “a hard-and-fast ban on bananas, since they are believed to invite bad energy to the boat.”
James Harden and Russell Westbrook - Locked in a mortal battle to lead the league in turnovers.
On Saturday morning, Harden led the league in turnovers with 44. Westbrook took this personally and decided to put the pedal to the medal.
On Sunday morning, Westbrook led the league in turnovers with 49 after a brilliant 6 turnover performance the night before. The former teammates are going to be slugging it out at the top of the turnover leaderboard all season.
I mean, just look at this (in a 2 point game no less):
New York Knicks - Bing Bong
Bing Bong
Gold Medal – Brandon Duhaime’s First Career Goal
Scoring a goal in the NHL is a massive accomplishment for any athlete. To climb the ladder to even get rostered, and then be good enough to see the ice for a game, is the dream for so many young players. And then to finally score a goal at the highest level, against the best goaltenders in the world, should be the greatest feeling in the world. But what if you were too busy looking for your stick to even notice you actually scored your first ever goal?
Enter Brandon Duhaime.
(pay attention to #21)
Duhaime is bending over, just trying to pick up the stick he lost while standing in front of the net. No one concerned about him. He probably feels a little silly, a rookie who isn’t prepared while his team has a scoring chance. He’s the in the right place at the right time though, his skate perfectly positioned to ricochet the puck into the back of the net. He barely has any effect on the play, but it’s his goal, one that he’ll hopefully remember forever.
Villain of the Week – The Cop Who Tried to Arrest Tyler Matzek
Tyler Matzek is part of the overpowering Atlanta Braves bullpen that helped boost the team to an unlikely World Series victory this season. Matzek was the face of the crew that would lock down games once the Atlanta starters were pulled. Through 13 appearances this postseason, he struck out 24 batters while giving up just 3 runs. He pitched in all 4 of the Braves’ wins during the World Series, including 2 innings in the championship clinching Game 6.
With Matzek being probably one of the 5 most important players during the Braves postseason, he should be a well known hero in Atlanta right?
Unfortunately, some cop didn’t recognize him and tried to arrest him during his own championship parade.
If there was ever a justifiable time for someone to yell “Do you even know who I am?” in someone else’s face, this is that time.
Is This How You Play?
You didn’t think I would forget to put Harden’s turnovers in here.
When you get scored on and also completely whiff on expressing your anger.
Is this how you play defense?
When you have to play hockey but have to be ready for the 3-legged race later.
Elite basketball in every moment of this play.
The best football play ever.
You good dude?
News by the Numbers
3 - Number of plush salmon thrown into the crowd of Climate Pledge Arena as part of the Seattle Kraken’s newest tradition after home wins. It’s a fun Seattle-style twist on the “3 Stars of the Game” common to many home stadiums where the best players toss pucks or sticks out for a few lucky fans. The salmon version is thoroughly Seattle. Each plush salmon weighs just over half a pound. They're also exactly 22 inches in length because that's what the legal catch length needs to be in Washington State. Each fish that flies into the stands will have a tag with five facts about sustainability. And there are people dressed as fish mongers helping.
5 - Players that had a chance to stop Connor McDavid on this goal. None of them came even close to stopping him. A month into the season, he is on a 180-point pace.
6 - Years in row where Jameis Winston’s last pass of the season has gone for a touchdown. It’s an unbelievable fact, but this is the epitome of the Winston experience. This year, his last pass came in the 1st quarter of Week 8. On the next possession, he was horse collar tackled and suffered a torn ACL that will keep him out until next season. In previous seasons, he pulled off this feat in the playoffs (2020) and to complete the amazing 30 TD/30 INT record (2019).
44 - Number of games won by the Atlanta Braves before the All-Star Break (44-45). After the All-Star Break, the Braves also won 44 games (44-28). I assume this was intentionally in honor of the late Hank Aaron, who they won the World Series for.
140 - The OPS+ of Buster Posey in the final season of his career. His resurgence was a huge part of the Giants’ success this year in winning the division. Although the story didn’t end with another run at the pennant, it was still a hell of a way to go out for Buster.
Buster Posey hit .304/.390/.499 in 2021, good for a 140 OPS+ if that is indeed his final year, it's one of the best offensive final seasons ever via @Stathead: highest OPS+ in a player's final season since 1900 (min. 450 PA) Posey will slot in 7th -- and what a list!!!
Homer Bias Restricted Area
Matt LaFluer with the sassiest challenge flag in the history of the NFL. Coach of the Year.
End Of Restricted Area
Thank you so much for reading this week. Please like and subscribe, maybe leave a comment about your favorite fact about the start of the NBA season. It would mean the world to me. Until next time readers.
Keep Sports Fun.
Colin
Twitter - @ColinRingwood12
The Buzzer Beater
Happy retirement to Buster Posey. Here’s the best play he made in his entire career.