Issue #38: Let the Bats Rain Down Upon Us
We celebrate the start of the 2022 MLB season by grading some of our favorite bat flips since the last grading session.
Hello, my name is Colin. Welcome to the 38th issue of The Wood Report, an eclectic smorgasbord of sports “news” and humor.
This Week’s Main Story
Just like the Wood Report, baseball is back. After a tenuous offseason that threatened to once again take away baseball games, this time because of labor negotiations rather than a global pandemic, we stand on the doorstep of a full 162 game season. To ease us all back into the swing of things, I have gone through a newsletter favorite process of grading some of the most memorable bat flips. Everyone is getting into the fun these days. I will run each launch through our highly scientific process to assign a Bat Flip Grade (patent pending). For those new to the newsletter, here is a breakdown of how The Wood Report evaluates each toss.
Bat Flip Grade Scoring Rubric
The Bat Flip Grade for each individual flip is based on 5 criteria, each with 10 possible points to earn, for a maximum BFG of 50. I’ll explain each criteria and what would constitute a good score.
Flip Mechanics: Here we are grading solely the act of the flip. How smooth was the flip? Was there hesitation before the flip? Did the bat go high or was it dropped as an afterthought? How many times did it rotate and on what axis?
Player Emote: This is a grade of what the player did during the bat flip and after the bat flip. This is a much more creative aspect. Was he celebrating with his teammates? Did he yell at the dugout or at the pitcher? A stare-down of the pitcher is a huge boost here while a head down trot around the bases would take away from the earlier bat flip.
Reaction: We are looking at the reaction of both teams here. A huge reaction from either side is necessary for a 10 score in this category. The best bat flips elicit a strong emotional response from everyone involved. Did the pitcher yell at the batter? Was the dugout already over the fence to celebrate?
Context: What did this bat flip mean in the grand scheme of baseball. It’s important that the homerun itself was impactful. It also is important that the bat flip was deserved. A late inning playoff game will rate very high here, but a regular season flip in the 2nd week of the season not so much. Bonus points will be awarded for any beef between teams/players that make the flip more than a flip.
Bat Distance: Simply how far away does the bat land from home plate. Further away = high score. Landing right at the plate = low score.
That’s it. A simple 5 step ranking to get the BFG for any bat flip. Let’s put it to work with some of my favorite flips from 2021.
Brett Phillips
Tampa Bay outfielder Brett Phillips is known for some electric clutch at-bats, such as walking off Game 4 of the 2020 World Series. By this point in 2021, he already accomplished an inside-the-park home run. On September 17th, he stepped up to the plate in the bottom of the 10th ready for another moment. He had been 0-for-4 in that game, and hitting just .210 on the season. None of that phased Brett.
Flip Mechanics: 6 - Brett knows immediately what he did. He takes a few steps, transfer it between his right and left hands, and chucks his bat towards his teammates coming over the dugout wall. He doesn’t throw it with the most spin and it doesn’t quite make it 3 full rotations despite the good throw.
Player Emote: 10 - Right after the toss, Brett goes airplane mode. He flies, wings out all the way through 2nd base. He adjusts into a normal run around 3rd but then busts the airplane back out right before home plate. Double airplane and the jump into the crowd at home, this is an awesome way to celebrate the walk off.
Reaction: 8 - Walk offs are always going to rate highly here specifically because of the gathering at home plate. Nearly the entire Rays team was over the wall before the ball itself was out of the park. The water buckets were there to greet Brett (the 1st was extremely well placed, the 2nd and 3rd were a bit too late). It’s a great home crowd as well. We even get a shot into the Tigers dugout where Derek Hill is staring into the abyss, still in shock at the loss (the Tigers led by 3 in the bottom of the 9th before the Rays rally).
Context: 3 - Extra innings walk offs should count for more. But this specific one took place with 2 weeks left in the regular season. The Rays had basically locked up winning the AL East. The Tigers had been out of playoff contention for months. There was no bad blood and nothing changed after this. Derek might have been in shock, but no one else was.
Bat Distance: 7 - While the flip lacked rotation, this bat got some distance. It lands all the way on the Bayfront Health ad along the 1st base line.
BFG - 34/50
Vladimir Guerrero Jr.
Had to include the best hitter in the league in 2021 on this list. The near Triple Crown winner hit a league leading 48 home runs and had some slick flips to go with them.
Flip Mechanics: 5 - It’s a vicious flip, though we don’t get to see the full landing. He eschews any rotation in favor of a javelin throw. He grips it from the end and lets it rip.
Player Emote: 3 - Relatively understated response from what we normally see out of Vladdy. He gives an emphatic “Let’s go” to his dugout, but otherwise goes on a routine jog around the bases. Maybe he was already used to it, having hit 34 dingers already.
Reaction: 6 - Vlad’s teammates are noticeably pumped, as they were throughout the entire 2021 season. This is because they get to bust out the Home Run Jacket, one of the cooler team traditions. Every time someone went yard, they got to don the jacket for the rest of the inning (or until the next guy earned it). It’s presented right at the top of the steps after a couple of big hugs. I love the jacket and hope they build on it for 2022.
Context: 3 - It’s an important August game for the Blue Jays who are trying to keep pace in an incredibly tight AL East race. This bomb ties the game at 2 in the 6th, giving Toronto a chance to win this home game. Unfortunately, these end up being the only 2 runs scored by Toronto as they fall 5-2.
Bat Distance: 5 - Guerrero chucks this straight across the plate, trying to hit his own teammate in the on-deck circle. He could have gotten it further had he been a righty, but this is still a good distance for a javelin throw.
BFG - 22/50
Giancarlo Stanton
The AL East is chock full of bat flippers. I don’t know what it is, but so many of the best ones come out of this division. One of those top guys is a mountain of a man who looks like he’s trying to unravel every baseball that dares to cross into the atmosphere around him.
Flip Mechanics: 4 - I love this flip because it seems like Giancarlo Stanton, a player that has hit over 300 home runs in his career, completely short circuits and forgets what to do with his bat in the moment. He carries it a couple steps and remembers it’s in his hand. He then goes for what I think is going to be a slam straight down but realizes his dugout is on the opposite side of the field. So he hesitates and then has to quickly throw it across his body while moving backwards. It could almost be played off as a “this bat is too hot to handle” move. In all of that, it’s some how still a decent flip. It is impactful and awkward all at once.
Player Emote: 5 - Again, Stanton looks lost. He has already flubbed the actual flip and he’s quickly moving away from his teammates. In a panic, he just goes for the double point. Thankfully, he regains his composure as he completes his roundtrip and goes for the full spin to hit home.
Reaction: 8 - The reaction is great on both sides. This hit comes after a wild sequence that looked to doom the Yankees down 3-2. Instead, Stanton puts them up by 3 runs. New York is celebrating, Boston is devastated. The most devastated is relief pitcher Adam Ottavino. This is his first year in Boston, directly after being a Yankee. He has experienced this rivalry. He knows exactly how bad he messed up. Here are the best reaction shots:
Context: 8 - This is ostensibly a playoff game with both teams needing wins to secure a wild card berth. It's the 3rd game of a 3 game series that New York ends up sweeping. At the start of this game, the records are tied. There are only 6 games left on the schedule and Toronto is bearing down as well. And the most important context; Stanton hit a grand slam the night before that also left the park over the Green Monster. He ended the series with 3 homers and 10 RBIs.
Bat Distance: 2 - Very hard to tell, but he took so long to throw it that he was basically throwing it back towards home plate. The slam might have been a better option.
BFG - 27/50
Javy Báez
We’ll take a step out of the AL East finally and look at a different divisional rivalry. Or more specifically, a personal rivalry. Javy Báez vs Amir Garrett is the type of bad blood that has become must-watch television.
Context: 10 - We are going out of order because this is important. Baez and Garrett have BEEF. They have had multiple confrontations before, so there was always this simmering possibility of another matchup. Except, Baez did not start this game, he was just available off the bench. And in a 5-5 tie going into the 9th, the Reds opted to hand the ball to Heath Hembree to get the game into extras. Instead, Hembree walked two and hit a batter to load the bases with only 1 out. Hembree was pulled for Garrett and the Cubs pinch hit Baez in the 9th spot. The baseball gods had smiled upon us. In a tie game, this was the greatest possible duel. They are literally jawing at each other as they set up. And before the score graphic even had a chance to morph onto the screen, Baez ended it on the very first pitch. He wasn’t waiting around.
Flip Mechanics: 4 - This is a tough one because I’m not sure if I should include the bat sweeping motion in the actual flip. It’s an incredible innovation, but it feels more like an emote at Garrett. I decided to just go with the slam here, which is great but contains no flip. It is pure rage as he tries to send that bat through the core of the earth.
Player Emote: 9 - Has anyone ever emoted more at an RBI single than Báez in this moment? I say no. He is relishing all of it. He looks at Garrett the moment he launches the ball and doesn’t stop until he’s almost at 1st base. He yells at him, he does the sweeping motion. He slams his helmet and starts taking off his jersey. He takes a full 16 seconds to reach 1st base, one of the slowest sprint speeds of all time. And then he continues to stare at Garrett while his team mobs him in excitement. Finally, he does the “are you not entertained?” pose. It’s almost perfect. I sadly have to take off one point. It’s the sweeping motion. He does this after winning the first game of a 4 game series between the teams. The Reds go on to win the next 3. It’s a tough look in hindsight.
Reaction: 10 - The reactions are all fantastic here. Everyone already knows something is going down. Rizzo is ready to jump over the wall before the pitch is thrown. The entire home crowd is standing up. And then pandemonium hits. The Cubs are swarming. Willson Contreras is behind Baez trying to get him to keep running. Garrett picks up the bat before the ump gets in between him and hurries him away to prevent a possible brawl.
Bat Distance: 8 - This bat almost makes it all the way to 1st base. That’s quite a journey.
BFG - 41/50
Special Edition Head to Head
A special bat flip battle of two incredible college bats. There can only be one winner, so I will pick a winner of each category, best of five. The first is Ivan Melendez out of Texas. The second is Ethan Long from Arizona State. Who will hold the college bat flip crown until the next issue?
Flip Mechanics: It feels wrong to choose one over the other here. Both are done with such casual ferocity. Long gets props for the height and rotation, but Melendez transitioned from backswing to flip smooth as butter. It needed just a flick of his wrist to send that bat spinning. I think very highly of both efforts here, but forced to pick, I am going with Long. There was thought put into it. Winner: Ethan Long
Player Emote: Interesting nugget, both dingers here were the 2nd of the day for both players. And they both seem to know they are The Man on their respective diamonds. Hence the casualness. Both begin a quick jog the moment the bat lands. But there is a subtle key difference in the two players. The high five as they round 3rd base. Long puts his arm out and leaves it there to smack as he passes. Melendez comes through and tries to rip his coach’s arms off with the force he puts into that slap. He tenses every muscle in his body. He is amped as hell. Winner: Ivan Melendez
Reaction: The reactions around the field are not the biggest considering both teams are already winning before the home run. My favorite reaction is the San Francisco catcher behind Ethan. When he realizes that ball is going into orbit, he does a small angry hop as if to say, “Oh come on, not this guy again.” Winner: Ethan Long
Context: As I mentioned previously, both are the 2nd home run of the day and both teams are already winning. Melendez hits a 2 run no-doubter in the 8th to give him 4 RBIs and put his team ahead 9-5. Long’s is a 3 run homer in the 7th for a total of 5 RBIs in a game his team won 8-5. Melendez is playing for the (at the time) top ranked team in the nation, while Long’s ASU is 6-9 and needs every win possible. Winner: Ethan Long
Bat Distance: At first glance, this seems easy. Long carries his twig across the batter box and sends it flying down the first base line. Melendez tosses his forward while still next to home plate. But pausing the video shows that Melendez actually throws it pretty far. While hard to tell because of the camera angle, the bat lands closer to the pitchers mound than home plate. And again, he does this with no wind up. It’s just pure wrist strength. That is impressive enough. Winner: Ivan Melendez
BF College Crown Holder - Ethan Long
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Is This How You Play?
At least this time, the goaltender was actually attempting to tend the goal
Is this one worse? I think it’s worse.
The fans are still in Spring Training mode too
“Please give me my stick back.”
Point guard Deandre Jordan.
Imagine going down like this at the plate
News by the Numbers
3 - Goals scored when a player records a hat trick. Usually this is a massive celebration for your soccer club. Unless it was a trio of own goals. Which is exactly what happened to New Zealander defender Meikayla Moore, who netted own goals off her left leg, her right leg, and her head. Already an underdog against the world champion USA squad, Moore had a nightmare first half, with all three goals coming in just 36 minutes of play.
14 - Consecutive Final Four appearances for the UConn Huskies after Monday’s double OT victory over #1 seeded NC State. UConn held on to a 91-87 victory in a game that required two overtimes, thirteen lead changes, and nine ties. Reigning player of the year, Paige Bueckers, scored 15 of her 27 total points in overtime.
19 - Backcourt steals by Pelicans rookie Jose Alvarado, which leads the league. What’s interesting is that he is doing the “snake in the grass” method of hiding on the sideline and stealing the inbound pass. He is an absolute menace when no one is paying attention. He is currently at 3.1 steals per 36, which hasn’t been accomplished since Tony Allen in 2010-11.
157 - Number of goalies Ovechkin has scored at least one goal against. This puts him at 4th most all-time while sitting at 3rd all-time in goals scored. Interestingly, the 3 ahead of him all scored fewer goals. Mark Messier (164 goalies, 9th all-time in goals), Patrick Marleau (174 goalies, 23rd all-time in goals), and Jaromir Jagr (177 goalies, 4th all-time in goals). If he scores 123 goals needed to break the record, he would need to do it on 21 new goalies to claim both records.
300 - IQ of Nikola Jokic when it comes to no-look passes. This makes no sense to anyone other than him.
Homer Bias Restricted Area
The Comeback Clippers are the most unpredictable team I have ever watched. They now have four 24 point comebacks in a single season, the most recent one to a Utah Jazz team that led by 25 in the 2nd half. You can’t never turn off the game because every possibility is in play.
My Devils positive: Jack Hughes is a stud and the league is on notice. Still only 20 years old, he’s currently sitting at 1.17 points per game this season, which would be the 4th best season in Devils history. He’s doing it while scoring ridiculous highlight goals like this:
My Devils negative: I never thought I’d see a team with worse special teams than the 2021 Green Bay Packers, but here we are. The Devils are rocking the worst Power Play Goals For % in NHL history. Put another way, when the Devils are playing with a man advantage, only 73% of the goals scored are by the Devils. Put another way, the Devils lost a game 3-2 after giving up 2 goals while they played with players on the ice. I’m legitimately upset when the other teams take a penalty against New Jersey. That is unreal.
End Of Restricted Area
Thank you reading this week’s newsletter. It had been a while since I last posted, but I hope to get back into a more regular rhythm like I had last year. This is a pleasure to write, and I enjoy hearing from everyone who takes the time to spend a few minutes reading.
Keep Sports Fun.
Colin
Twitter - @ColinRingwood12
The Buzzer Beater
Michigan Goals have gotten so lethal that teams are creating set plays for fake Michigan goals. The evolution of hockey is happening right before our eyes.
I am so glad the Baez bat flip was in this issue. This feels like fan service